In Heaven's Arms
by HamarikFreakz
Summary: He… I saw Edward…' Alice cried into her hands, 'I saw him and he was just hunting… he was only hunting…' she sobbed."


**In Heavens Arms**

I was finally the creature I'd feared and loved the most, a mysterious and enchanting vampire. I had everything I wanted and more. Edward was mine, Renesmee was fine and well, and Jake was still my closest of friends. Nothing could've changed that feeling of serenity and constant love, or so I thought.

I was sitting in the living room with Alice. She was going on about some party she would surely make us all participate in. Yay…? I was reading through some of the poems and songs Edward kept hidden inside of his piano. He hated me to read them when they were unfinished, but he'd been out hunting all day, and Alice said she didn't see him returning soon, so I decided what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

I hadn't gone hunting with him this time because I wanted to let him and the guys have some quality time, and since nowadays we weren't in much danger of me being killed by random nomad vampire attacks it didn't bother me all to badly to be away from him for a just a little while.

Alice continued talking about her party plans, and I nodded and "mhm-ed" at the appropriate moments. It was a pretty dull evening, really. I hoped Edward had something fun planned for when he got back, not that I didn't love party planning with Alice or anything… The songs and poems were all very beautiful. Everything Edward did was beautiful, honestly, but he didn't see himself like I saw him.

Alice suddenly stopped talking, her body going completely rigid. Her eyes glazed over, and I knew what was happening. It was that all-to-familiar face of her having a vision. But this wasn't ordinary in three ways; she twitched oddly, like what she was seeing was hurting her to watch, her arms moved out at awkward times in oddly bent angles and positions, and her face contorted with agony.

I dropped the papers I was holding and rushed to her side, clutching her stone cold hand as it shook, "Alice?" I called to her, but she was still twitching, and began to cry out, "Alice… Alice!" I tried to shake her out of it.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs quickly at the sound of my calls. Rosalie came down and stood next to us, looking down at Alice with fear and confusion, "What happened," she almost snarled it at me.

"I don't know!" I let go of Alice's convulsing arms.

Rosalie pulled out her phone and dialed the numbers with that inhumanly fast speed. She held it to her ear and only a moment passed before she said, "Carlisle…? Something's happening to Alice!"

I kneeled there, unsure of what to do or say as Alice made sounds of pain.

"I… well she's twitching and it looks like a vision but… what!?... Carlisle…" Rosalie was saying, her voice rising from concern to utter panic.

I listened with my keen hearing sense and caught what Carlisle was saying. He was yelling Edward's name into the open air, and his normally calm voice was laced with some concern as he slowly told Rosalie that they had lost track of Edward.

I froze.

Suddenly, as if time had frozen with me, Alice jolted to a stop.

Rosalie looked over, from me to Alice, "I'll call you back," she muttered as she hung up the phone and knelt with me next to a shaky and panting Alice, "… What happened?"

Alice looked at me, eyes wide with pain and fear, she let out a little sob and her face fell into trembling hands.

"Alice what is it!?" I partially yelled it I had a horrible sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"He… I saw Edward…" Alice cried into her hands, "I saw him and he was just hunting… he was only hunting…" she sobbed.

"Alice… what did you see…" Rosalie's face twisted with concern, still looked painfully gorgeous. Her golden eyes waited for the news she feared we'd hear.

Alice looked up at me, her eyes glazed with a layer of tears, "Bella I swear I didn't see anything before… I didn't know… I couldn't have done anything there was no warning at all…" she cried out the last sentence.

I shook my head, "no…" I whispered, covering my mouth with my hands, my stomach knotting up. I felt dizzy. No… nothing could have happened to my Edward. He was so strong, so much stronger than me. I'd given my life, my soul, and my heart to him, and he HAD to be ok. I shook my head again, "no."

Alice shuddered all over, sobbing again, "he's DEAD!" she cried.

Rosalie fell back, gasping. She automatically reached out to me, wrapping one strong arm around my back.

"NO!" I screamed. I was so dizzy now. I fell forward, face in hands, on the ground. I felt Rosalie holding onto my shaking body. She was shaking too.

Her phone rang then, making Alice cry even harder.

Rosalie shuddered, "hello…" she whispered, I could hear in her voice that she knew what she was about to hear.

Though I was sobbing more than Alice, I could hear Carlisle's voice over the phone. He sounded sad, defeated, and just wrong when he said, "Edward… Edward is dead… Rosalie, he's dead… he was ripped apart by a rogue…"

Rosalie let the phone fall, finally allowing the tears she'd held in to fall.

I cried uncontrollably, feeling the reality of it settle in. I felt helpless, and human. I felt like everything I'd ever cared about had been ripped out of my life, and a hole had been punched out of my chest. I held my empty hands together, clawing into my own flesh as I cried out his name repeatedly, "come back…" I whispered. This was the end. I didn't want to live anymore. Not without him. Because this time there wasn't even hope for him to return, there wasn't even a glimmer of silver lining, there was only darkness. I'd never see his glimmering topaz eyes again, or that crooked smile I'd come to adore. He'd never hold me in his arms again, or play me his lullaby in the still of the night. I'd never be at peace without him. I cried out more. Hearing Alice sobbing near me, and Rosalie's strong, graceful, arms embrace me.

"Come back…" I whispered through tears again.

The stairs creaked slightly and I looked up through tear soaked eyes.

Renesmee.

She slowly descended down the steps to where the three of us sat, clutching onto each other for dear life. Her big gorgeous eyes looked into mine worriedly, with pure childlike innocence. I felt more tears begin to fall silently as I looked at her. She had very many of his traits.

Her long curls bounced as she stepped down from the last step and slowly came towards us.

"Mommy…" she knelt next to me, her little body looking even smaller next to mine, "Mommy, what's wrong?" her eyes looked glassy and clear, and full of innocent concerns.

I couldn't say it. I couldn't be the one to tell her that her daddy would never come home to her ever again. Rosalie's arms became stiff and trembled around me.

None of us wanted to tell her.

She sensed our pain. She reached out for me, and there was nowhere for me to run to as I kneeled crying and shaking on the floor. She touched my cheek with her soft little hand, and I knew my images and thoughts were pouring into her mind. I didn't have to say it. She knew now.

Her face went completely pale. Not even the brush of pink that normally tinted her cheeks was there. Her eyes swelled with tears, "Daddy… no…" she jumped into my arms and cried. There was nothing for me to do, nothing I could say could make her pain or mine recede. I cried with her, Rosalie now holding onto us both, and Alice silently joining this grieving huddle.

That was how we stayed the rest of the evening, until Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and Emmett returned home. They all looked just as horrible and defeated as we did. No one said anything as we tried to carry on with the rest of this horrible evening.

The next morning Jake showed up. Carlisle had called him and told him what happened, he thought it might help me a little if Jacob was around. But he was wrong. When Jacob showed up I ran to him and burst into even more tears. He tried to make me smile, tried to show me that he understood my pain, and that he was here for me, but he didn't really understand how much it hurt, and he could never truly be there for me as he used to be. Nothing was the same anymore.

January…

February…

March…

April…

May…

June…

Nothing changed.

Nothing got any better. The pain was worse than before, and Rosalie had already lectured me that I had to start _trying _to live because otherwise Renesmee was going to grow up without a father _and _a mother. But I just couldn't live. I couldn't really _live_ without him.

I was sitting on the couch, Rosalie had taken Renesmee out hunting, Carlisle was at work, and the others were out doing whatever. I didn't care. Not anymore.

I looked up at the ticking clock. It was funny how time just moved right on for some people, but for others it didn't seem to even be there. Time was nothing to me anymore, just another empty space void of the one thing I needed more than life or blood.

I stood up and went to the garage. Taking Edward's silver Volvo out for a drive always made me cry, but somehow it made me feel close to him. It was raining, of course, when I began to drive. I drove as fast as I could down the wet street, faster than Edward had ever driven, even. My mind suddenly reeled with memories, thoughts, and dreams. I cried and laughed and just lost it, driving faster than that Volvo was even supposed to be able to go. My eyes were so wet with tears I didn't see it. I didn't see the curve in the road, or the trees. The car sped off the road with lightening speed. It smashed into a tree with furious force. I felt my limbs flung in all directions and it barely hurt compared to losing Edward.

Then the world went white.

**Epilogue:**

He always said people like us -no- Vampires in general didn't have souls. He always ranted about how we were dammed, and doomed to nothing but hell when we were destroyed.

He was wrong.

He was waiting for me when I got there. More beautiful than I'd ever remembered, looking like an angel as he stood by gates of pure shimmering gold. His arms were open and inviting. I floated right into them, as if it were where I was always meant to be. Even in death.

"I love you," was all he whispered, with that melodic voice I'd missed most.

We looked down from the heavens, seeing our beautiful baby girl in the arms of Rosalie. She would be taken care of until we were reunited with her again one day.

As would I.


End file.
